Back after nearly a year! Ouick update! Big changes!

Hello everyone,
I have neglected my blog shamefully since my return to work last April! Once I returned to work, time passed in a complete blur. Between teaching, principal work and meetings, the children's many activities and matches, my sister's wedding and sister in laws wedding, I had  no time for myself!
April, May and June flew by and next thing I was off for the summer.
I spent most of the summer chasing up the purchase of a 9 seater minivan from the UK so we would be able to travel together to the weddings! I lost all my baby weight by walking here and there over the holidays with the kids on 'adventures'. The older three did not accompany me that often sadly. They had other interests!
I was all ready for my sister's wedding come August, outfits bought, bridesmaid dress mercifully fitting, 9 seater minivan on the street and I felt in control. My husband and I decided to go for a nice romantic dinner for our wedding anniversary in early August and two weeks later, we realised baby number 7 was on the way!
Though we were both in shock, I was quite excited when I saw the two lines on my cheap, Dealz pregnancy test a few days before my period was due. I had a dream I was pregnant which is why I took the test early. However, my excitement was short lived after two visits to my GP. Each time, the GP told me that I was not pregnant as their tests showed up negative. I trusted my instincts and asked my husband to purchase a First Response when he was at work away (I was not going to buy one locally!)Lo and behold, a strong postitive showed up and so baby number 7 was definately on the way, though we had decided no more! Immediately, I started worrying about people's reactions, especially my family's but as my husband wisely said, as long as we were both happy, it was noone else's business!
Thankfully, I did not suffer morning sickness over the next few months as my husbnad was working away all week. I was very tired but could not tell anyone I was expecting! We did  not share our news until after my sister in law's wedding near the end of October, when I was well over 14 weeks.
I was flying through the pregnancy, no issues with pelvic girdle pain or symphisis pubis dysfunction. I was working and well. Roll on the second week in January and things turned bad! My back completely went out and I was unable to walk. My consultant and midwives presumed it was the pelvic/SPD problems but I knew it wasn't. The physio then said it was most probably my discs. I could not even walk with crutches. I could not put one foot in front of the other without awful pain. I lasted 5 days at home sitting and rolling on an office wheely chair before going to hospital. I stayed there a few days on IV pain relief and pethidine. I discharged myself after a while as I missed the kids and I came home. My mom helped me with the baby and I sat around every day. Within a couple of weeks, I had to go back in but thankfully by mid February, my discs seemed to stop bulging and I was able to walk/waddle. By then though my pelvis was playing up! I have been signed off work and I spend every day 'resting'. I normally would be 'nesting' but unable to do much without getting hurt. So I am getting very fed up!
I am now 33 weeks pregnant and due April 24th!
I am as busy as ever once 3pm hits, we are constantly on the road with football, rugby, music lessons and Irish Dancing. I  try fit in swimming twice a week so as not towaste our pool membership.
Child 1,now 14, has a girlfriend and breaks house to get out to see her! Child 6 is now 17 months and as active and mad as a hatter. He is in to everything but a pure joy! We feel so blessed to have him as he fell halfway down the stairs Christmas Eve after one of the kids left the stairgate upstairs open. He was so lucky to escape unharmed.
My husband is busy with work, Thank God. He has taken my minivan today as his van died, so I am housebound today and so decided to write! I have been spending my time watching One Born Every Minute, terrifying myself or mindlessly watching Instastories of vloggers doing speed cleans in the hopes of gleaning some motivation!
Today I decided that returning to my blog after a year hiatus might be a more fruitful way of spending my time!
In other news, the Coronavirus is at large. There are now 13 confirmed cases in Ireland. Apparently, my child with type 1 diabetes would be mainly at risk should it hit our house. I am constantly warning the kids to wash their hands but alas they send most of their time with hands in mouth or fingers in nose!

Anyway, I better go put Child6 to bed for his nap! I will endeavor to keep the blog updated!
Cheerio!

I'm back!

Oh my goodness! I haven't blogged since February 15th! The time has flown by in a blur of school runs, shopping, trying to exercise, minding the baby and endless loads of laundry. So I'll do a quick catch up.  Child No2 made his confirmation on March 26th and we had a nice family dinner in our local restaurant. I bought out my car from Volkswagen and now I need to sell it and then buy a 9 seater. I am feverishly searching on Done deal and Car Zone every day. Child No1 was injured by the orthodontist on Monday.The orthodontist was trying to fit  a ring around the tooth to add a bracket and her hand slipped thus stabbing ChildNo1 in roof mouth with the metal implement that she was using. He was very upset understandably. We have to go down again on Friday for a check up. I am constantly on the road with orthodontist appointments, GP appointments, Diabetes Clinics and of course all the matches and training, music lessons, etc.
Child No1 has quit music lessons but ChildNo4 has started so I am still travelling as often. My husband took ChildNo1 to a football match on Mother's Day 50 miles away and he wasn't even played. It is so annoying. I believe every child should get a chance to play, even if it is only 5 minutes. It is so important for their confidence.
The baby will turn 6 months on Friday April 6th and I am back to work on Monday. I cannot believe my Maternity Leave is all but over. I have enjoyed being in my little, safe bubble at home. I have loved returning home after the school run and pottering around doing my bits and pieces and enjoying my baby. Now, it's back to rush in the mornings and work wear!I bought a few new pairs of trousers as my others won't close post baby. I also went into Brown Thomas and bought Mac make up...the ELF is just not cutting it anymore! Thankfully, I had the good sense to get measured for a bra and needed to go from 38C when pregnant to 34 D. No wonder I was drooping!
March was a busy month with my parents 'birthdays, St. Patrick's Day parade, Mother's Day and the confirmation,
I will be one week back at work when I am off again for Easter thank goodness! I advertised for a cleaner to help me keep on top of the housework but no one has replied to my ad yet.
I booked the baby's christening for the first weekend in June. We will have the party at the house as no where is available for dinner that weekend.
I have booked our accomodation for both weddings and it is totalling to over 1500 for accomodation alone for the 8 of us!
I better go and put the baby to sleep before the school run then I need to appy for a top up on caar loan and clean the car.
I'll try blog more frequently.
Bye for now!
E

Friday!

Hello again,
It has been nearly a week again since I have posted a blog. I'd like to say I was extremely busy being healthy but alas, I fear not. I get up every morning and bake muffins for the kids, do the school run, sort the laundry and tidy the house so I can tick it off on my cleaning sheet. Then, if I don't have to do shopping, I sit and hold the baby and read or watch you tube videos until it is time to pick up the children again.
Once I pick up the kids, it's all go, between feeding them and bringing them to their activities. So, that window of two hours quiet time is important so I am not frazzled by the time I collect them.
The days of my Maternity Leave are numbered, therefore I need to pull back from all the rushing and enjoy the baby before I am back to work. My poor sister returned to work last Monday and has one week down already.
I have spent my quiet time today researching Art Competitions and courses for Child#2. Both Child#1 and Child#2 are exceptionally able. I had them assessed by an Educational Psychologist a few years ago because of their high test scores and their boredom in class. Anyway, Child#1 is kept busy with his friends, sport, xbox and the wonders of First Year whereas poor Child#2 is bored and getting increasingly frustrated. He has a huge interest in History and Art and Lego but I cannot answer a lot of his questions. I contacted a local historian to take him under his wing so fingers crossed that will work out. Unfortunately, we are over an hour from the city where there are numerous courses that he could access. Child#3 is the same way but I have not had him assessed as he is managing well in school. Again, he puts his energies into rugby, soccer and football.
As for Child#4 and 5, I will focus on trying to get homework done without a  huge row!
Child#1, 2, 3,  and 4 have rugby matches tomorrow. The buses leave at 8.15a.m. There goes my small sleep in window!
As you may have noticed, today is February 15th and I am here safely at home typing and not in hosptial getting my surgery! I am still not sure that I made the right decision putting it off for a while, but trying to make up my mind about it drove me crazy so it was best to postpone until I felt better about it.
I got my yearly dozen red roses yesterday evening from the husband. I made him a little card and tried to pass it off as being an extra thoughtful gesture. In truth, I didn't want to stop and buy a card and risk all the kids running out of the car into the shop. I will take him out for dinner when my bank account is not in the red. I rubbed deep heat into his aching back as a gift for now which is a huge deal for me as I detest the smell.

My fit watch came on Monday morning and I cannot sit in peace now with a cup of tea without it telling me to get up and be more active. The weather has been stormy so I only got out for an actual walk twice. I have abandoned the Lucy Windham workouts. I really need to start back into them again...and writing my novel...and dressing in normal clothes each day. I have taken to wearing active wear daily in the hopes I will actually be more active. I think what I need to do now is compare my steps to the Samsung together group to inspire or shame me into doing more. I suspect I have an ingrown toenail also because of the pain in my toe when I walk.

My husband is taking on the building of a house far away so he will have to stay gone for the week from March on. I offered to learn how to drive the tractor so I can help in the farming when he is gone. I welcome a new challenge though part of me is safe in the knowledge that he will refuse my kind offer.

The Music Exams are in two weeks and they clash with a course I wanted to do. Child#1 is giving up Music Lessons then to focus more on sport. It is such a shame considering how talented he is but it is his choice and maybe he will take it up again when he is older.

Child#4 will not stay in his own bed at night. He suddenly appears by our bedside at about 4am every morning. He does not say anything. He just stands there staring at us with a sulky pale face until one of us wakes in terror because we were feeling watched. The other night after Dart's Practice, my husband decided to sleep with Child#1 because his blood sugar's were going low. Child#4 appeared at my bedside looking for my husband. I told him that Dad was with Child#1 and for him to go back to bed. However, he went in to Child#1's room in a rage and slapped my poor husband across the face for daring to sleep with someone else. My husband woke up in shock. We sat Child#4 down the next morning and explained that this has to stop.

Child#1 is going into 'town' after school today to walk around in the cold and rain with his fellow teens. I have to do another big shop as we are low on food thanks to the bottomless pits that are my sons.
I don't think there is anything elsee to fill you in on.
I have been eating sweets the past few days and feel zombie like as a result. I had to abandon the protein bars as they were giving the poor baby foul smelling wind.
 I will renew my attempts at healthy ways next Monday as everyone knows you cannot start on a Saturday.
Child#2's confirmation is soon and I also have to book my baby's christening date so hopefully those two dates will serve as a motivator also.
I will write later if anything interesting happens.
Cheerio for now.

Stormy Sunday

Hello, I am back!
So sorry for the long absence from blogging but it was one of those weeks...between the busyness of running here and there, severe PMS symptoms and rotten weather, it has been a week I am keen to put behind me!
I had many 'go slow' days where I felt I could just about keep up with the regular schedule, never mind fitting in exercises. I cooked and cleaned all week, folded clothes and braved the school runs and rugby/music runs in the bad, rainy weather.
I suffered cramps, mood swings and headaches as my period drew near. At one point, I wondered if I could miraculously be pregnant...my PMS and early pregnancy symptoms are the exact same. However, just as I bought a pregnancy test to be on the safe side before going for my tubal ligation, my period literally started! What a waste of money and worry time! I think it was just wishful thinking as I really am not ready to do this procedure.
My friend's dad died unexpectedly also. It was so sad and my heart went out to her and her family. It made me count my blessings.

I spent two days folding laundry and putting it away, silently and sometimes not so silently fuming and once again wondering why my husband spends his time outdoors and ignores all the housework.
Granted, the cow had a calf last Sunday but I have found my husband standing in the shed quite often just 'watching' them as if it was a seriously important task. Meanwhile, I am snowed under in housework trying to get ready for Child#4's birthday party that I foolishly invited 16 kids to,plus my own. I thought it would be nice for him, especially as he worked hard all week to catch up on his homework that he had neglected for two weeks!
Child#1, 2 and 3 pulled sick days at different stages during the week and of course by 11am, they'd be as right as rain.
Child#1 confided in me that he had a girlfriend a few months ago but they broke up. I hid my shock quite well and chatted way as if this was a regular, normal thing. I was shaking on the inside though thinking how grown up he was getting so fast.

School runs have been a chore lately as the gate has to be opened and closed each time I leave, thanks to my husband's cows being around the house. They are due to calf so he needs to keep an eye on them. Therefore, I get soaked several times a day in the torrential rain.

 My husband has been rained off a few days this week also, which did not help his mood. He was thankfully around therefore for the big birthday party to help me watch all the children! Any other day, he found things to do outside and neglected all the things inside...like changing lightbulbs, insulating the crawl space so we don't freeze upstairs, hanging my curtain pole upstairs so I can put up curtains...

My mother in law is down several times a day now to talk about the cows outside, even though I have made it crystal clear that I do not give a rat's arse where they are, or what they are doing. All I hear is 'Did you see the baby calves? ' 'Oh they are rogues, always going before them!' or 'That cow shouldn't be out in the rain after having a calf...help me put her in', or 'My cow hasn't cleaned yet, think why that is now?'
Aaaaaah! It is driving me crazy! She has gone up to her daughter for the weekend now and I feel like I am on holiday. The baby has a break from PJ being screeched in his face too. Part of me does miss her though and I shouldn't complain. She always minds the kids if I ask her to.

I have been all week on Live Chat with a Little woods rep also, trying to track down my fitness watch that never arrived. I go between Little woods and the courier demanding to know where it is. When it finally arrives on Friday...a week late, the seal is broken on the box and so, I have to return it. I do not order off Littlewoods again as I do not want to risk another delay. I buy one from DID electrical. Hopefully, it will arrive on Tuesday and I will have no excuse not to be back on track.
It is also time to upgrade our phones so I have been tackling that ordeal all week with Three.
We are going to go for a Samsung A7. So as you can see, I had little time for writing unfortunately. Though I desperately missed it.
I devised a Cleaning Tick Sheet also that helped motivate me start the cleaning process in this mad house. Now the major cleaning has been done, I do a few minutes every morning keeping on top of it and ticking as I go. I plan to declutter a room each week too. I ordered new chair covers for my dining room. I am ashamed to say my cats have absolutely destroyed the lovely leather chairs over time, using them as scratch posts. It started off as the odd scratch here and there a few years ago, when we had our first kitten. Then four years ago, we got a litter of three kittens together and they ruined everything! They also bite and scratch the kids. They are spoiled and ungrateful yet everyone (not the husband) loves them and tries to cuddle them, which leads to more tears.
Our most recent kitten is now a tom cat and he sprayed the upstairs somewhere last week. I have been searching for cleaning vinegar online ever since but I can't find any. It is meant to neutralise the awful cat piss smell and deter them from doing it in future.
I ordered new walking shoes to go with my new fitness watch. I ordered new underwear for Child#2 because he refuses to wear his other underwear as he thinks Child#3 has been wearing them.
I picked up all the toys upstairs early Friday morning only for the gang of children to throw them all over the place but I spent ten minutes tidying up again to put some order on the place.
Today is actually Child#4's 7th birthday. I cannot believe that he is seven already! It is a horrible, stormy day so I baked him birthday buns at home instead of going out in this weather. My husband is insulating the upstairs while all other children are playing a zombie game on the xbox. The baby is asleep while I write.

As I wrote earlier, I had a rotten week with PMS symptoms. I really have to get a handle on how to manage the PMS as I do not want to be going through that for a week every month. I feel demotivated and lethargic and I eat all my emotions which range from anger, to despair to indifference! If I avoid junk food and take B6 vitamins and exercise before it hits I should be ok but it always creeps up on me and next thing I am in the throes of it and nothing can get me out of it and the pain and tension until the period actually starts.

On top of all this, I was very anxious because of my procedure date looming closer. My mind has felt like exploding all week going back and over between going ahead or cancelling the tubal ligation. It is not that I want more children, but I don't like the feeling of not being able to have more children. There is a big difference between 'won't' and 'can't'. I am afraid of the pain of the procedure as I have been through a larparoscopy before with the ectopic. It seems quite drastic when I can just use barrier methods and timing. I guess I got so caught up in the 'who' will get it done, my husband or I that I did not think it through how I'd feel. I don't want my husband to get it done now either. It is his choice. Just like this is my choice. And I was so busy organising the when and how that I neglected to consider my feelings on it. While, I don't want to be pregnant again and I have six, healthy children, I don't want to do this procedure. It doesn't feel right to me and I need to trust my instincts. My husband says it is totally up to me and not to be going by my Mom and Dad. And, that is very true. I shouldn't do it because my Dad keeps giving out about sorting myself out. It has to be my decision. I did decide I didn't want more children. I did make my own appointment and set my own date...nobody forced me to. But now, that it is in 5 days time, I am feeling extremely uneasy about it.
I am so afraid I will suddenly be plunged into despair because I 'can't' have more children even though I didn't even consider having any more before setting this date up! I think I am one of those people who would be greatly affected by it and feel 'empty' or 'useless'. I know after the ectopic I was inconsolable because I only had one tube and I thought I'd never have any more.
I am not ready to face a load of emotion next Friday and after. I have a little baby to focus on right now. There is no panic. My consultant did suggest waiting until he was over a year and I finished breastfeeding but I suggested going as soon as possible. And now I have changed my mind again!
Maybe the breastfeeding hormones are affecting my feelings or the PMS.
Or maybe it is because I have been put under twice...the ectopic and the infection so I am afraid.
Either way, I think I will postpone it on Friday for my own mental health before I drive myself crazy or my husband!
I am happy with my healthy and happy children and I by not going ahead with the tubal ligation does not mean I am planning another baby. My husband would run for the hills even if I did !
Now, I better go and feed the children and lay out uniforms for tomorrow!

Catch up!

Hello!
I can't believe it is Thursday already! The time is flying by! I have not had a chance to write all week. Monday started in the usual way...rushing here and there getting the children ready for school. I managed to fit in a 7 minute workout first thing in the morning. Monday is a yoga day at school so we had a stressful few minutes locating the yoga mats before school and sorting out a fight between Child2 and 3 over a blue mat. Child#3 did not want the purple mat as it was a 'gay' colour. This is coming from the child who threw a huge tantrum in JD Sports last summer for a baby pink hoodie. (I did not buy the hoodie because it was too expensive...not because it was pink.)
I dropped the kids at school and continued on to my physio appointment. It felt odd not having the baby with me and I kept glancing in the rear view mirror expecting him to be there! Physio went well and I was discharged on the recommendation to do a few sessions of one on one pilates with a chartered physiotherapist to build up my core. I managed to make healthy choices regarding food and after physio I thoroughly enjoyed myself browsing through Pennies and Dealz. It is a bad state of affairs that I get excited over going to Dealz and Pennies but such is the state of my finances at present!
I make it home in time for the school run and it is back to the usual routine. It is seriously cold in the evening so I decide to use the treadmill. However, after constant demands from the kids while I was trying to walk, I hurriedly pulled on an extra pair of trousers and my husband's high vis work jacket, and I ran up the road for peace!
Tuesday was a rush also as I had a nail appointment booked straight after the school run so I had to have the baby up and ready to leave with me. My mother in law came too to collect her pension and do her shopping. By the time we are finished in town, it is nearly time to do the school run again. I try to put away my groceries amidst the baby's cries for attention. I squeeze in a quick walk on the beach even though it is baltic and I get get caught in a shower of hailstones. I return home with a scalding face and hurry over to pick up the kids. I feed all the children and battle with them over homework and I get dinner on before bringing Child#1 to his Music Lesson. The roads are icy and I give out to Child#1 for forgetting his tester. He is so lax-a-daisy about his diabetes care lately.
He has rugby training straight after music and I warn him to cover so he won't go into a hypo. I hurry home and swap with my husband who rushes out to the rugby pitch to give Child#1 his tester. Thunder and lightening starts and Child#4 and 5 are afraid. Even though it doesn't last long, they use it as an excuse to sleep in our bed. And so, I have another sleepless night. I shove my husband during the night to stop him snoring but it turns out it is my daughter who is snoring like a wild boar. I make a mental note to check her tonsils in the morning.
All night, the kids toss and turn. My husband cries out a few times during the night as Child#4's toenails slice in to his skin. He says it was akin to a tinopener digging into his legs. I get a few wallops into the face as my daughter flings out her arms during the night.

Though we have very little sleep, we both get up early and follow the regular routine on Wednesday. I rush down the stairs to take the children to school when I discover Child#2 has returned to bed even though my husband had got him up! Child#3 gives out and complains that he will be late. I drop them all off and return home for my breakfast. I do two sessions of Lucy Windham Reid's 7 minute workouts and write in my planner. It is a beautiful, icy day so my mother in law and I take it in turns to go for a walk.
I walk the beaches and admire the snowy mountains. The two dogs roll on a dead bird and they absolutely stink. I gag as I transport them home in my nice, clean car. By the time I go to pick up the kids, I am stress free and feeling super active and healthy.
It all goes downhill from there between hearing about a problem at work even though I'm on Maternity Leave, pleading with Child#4 to do his homework , putting Child#2 off when he wants to take over my kitchen to bake and trying to make dinner while the baby cries again. My daughter wants me to find her Tom Cat who is off chasing female cats. I give in and walk down the road to find the cat. We soon locate him in some bushes and he mews at us in a warning tone. My daughter begs me to carry him home and so I comply like a fool. The dogs run around my feet, scaring the cat. The cat claws my neck and shoulders in a bid to escape. I let him go and he runs up a tree. I tell my daughter that he can stay there the rotten thing. She wails 'Nooooo' and I promise that I will go down again in the car the next day.

We return home and finish off dinner. I look forward to my healthy dinner but then I realise that there is no sign of my husband to do the rugby run. I ring him and he informs me that he is held up! And so, I have to abandon the dinner and pile the kids into the car and rush out to rugby even though it is freezing. I am so stressed and angry I can barely see straight. The baby cries hysterically all the way out to the gym...his new antics, he hates the car seat now.
I drop the kids off and take the baby out of his car seat, soothe him, feed him and strap him back in again and head for home. I take my 'healthy' veggie burgers and wraps out of the oven and they are all dried out. Feeling very sorry for myself, I tidy up and try settle the baby who keeps crying. I decide to give him a bath that he loves. While bathing the baby, Paige the cat wanders in mewing, urging me to feed her. I ignore her and she then runs up my back and sits on my head clawing me. I try to shake her off whilst holding the baby safely in his bath. I am getting sick of these entitled cats.
The children return home from rugby and I am delighted to hear that my husband's darts have been called off. Child #2 insists on baking and bangs around the kitchen while we put the younger kids to bed. I spend a long time trying to get the baby to sleep while I watch Operation Transformation.  My husband is in a grumpy mood because his tooth is sore AGAIN. He won't take time off work to go to the dentist.
I finally fall asleep.

We wake this morning to torrential rain and hail. My husband is rained off so he gets all the children ready while I feed the baby. I do the school run and pop in for a quick meeting to see what the issue was yesterday. I return home and cook a nice breakfast and do my 7 minutes belly blast exercise and 7 minutes posture improvement. I was hoping my husband would go to the dentist today but no...he has gone out in the rain collecting scaffolding. I will have to do the music lessons now myself when I was hoping he would be around to do it.
I plan to tidy up a bit and then hopefully write a few chapters before picking up the kids again.
Time goes by too quickly!
I'll try check in later!

Slán
PS I have ordered a Samsung Gear Fit pro from Littlewoods! It tracks activity so I hope it will motivate me to get my steps in when I can see what I have done!

Later...
My husband returned home and did the Music Lessons for me so I had a couple of hours to myself to write...or so I thought. The baby has turned cranky all of a sudden. I don't know what to do with him. I have tried everything! He must be teething. He was crying so much that I decided to change him quickly on the bed but he pooed all over my lovely white lace bed spread. I jumped off the bed to get baby wipes and landed on my lap top. Thankfully, it is still working. I turned back to clean the baby and he peed up into air and soaked through the duvet. I spent over an hour earlier trying to help Child#4 catch up on his homework but his mind was firmly on his tablet and when he could get it again. I argued with Child#2 for being cheeky and using bad language and now I have a throbbing headache. Tomorrow, Child#1 and 2 have an orthodontist appointment at 8am so they have to be up at 6am.
Child#2 and 3 have a credit union quiz on Saturday and Child#1 has a rugby match away on Sunday. It is all go, go, go and I just want to dive under my bed covers and hide (if they weren't covered in baby poo and wee!)
Good night!

Ranting Sunday!

I wake early this morning but make the age old mistake of cuddling the baby for a few extra minutes and next thing I know, I jolt awake to the roar of my husband's tractor spluttering to life. I curse silently in my head. I fell back asleep and now he has escaped and I am left to do everything on my own again even though it is Sunday morning.
I feed the baby, check Child#1's blood sugar and get dressed. I am putting on some make up when my husband reappears only to warn me that he has to go again. It seems he is the silage fairy, delivering bales to everybody in his trusty, rusty tractor like a feckin milkman.

I go downstairs and tidy the kitchen and put on a load of laundry. I make rounds of chocolate toast for the kids and warn them not to eat in the sitting room. Child#2 is on a sleepover with a friend. I decide to go straight to lunch on my Operation Transformation app as it's nearly 11 30am and there is no point forcing down porridge that I don't even enjoy. I eat my ham and cheese wrap though the app clearly says chicken and I decide to eat my afternoon snack as well.
My husband arrives home again and declares he has to put two front tyres on my car as if he is on the verge of saving my life, when really he wants to spend an hour down at the neighbours talking sh#te while the tyres are being fitted. He also has to go to a funeral and bring his Mom somewhere.
I ask if I should go for my walk now then while he is eating his lunch. His face falls and agrees reluctantly warning me not to be long. I fight the urge to claw his face off and remind him that I am not solely in charge of the 6 children and housework and I deserve time out too. I might seem very down on the poor husband today but I just feel so stressed all week and weekend as the housework has piled up due to all the appointments and every time I tidy one room, the children wreck it again!

Farming started off as my husband's past time just as walking, writing or shopping is my past time. Yet, I don't get any time to do my activities until late at night while he farms every evening after work and Saturday and Sunday. I don't expect him to clean the whole house but it would be nice if he and the kids would help tidy up their own messes or put away their own clothes or just stop being fecking slobs! Even if they acknowledged my efforts it would be something! My husband gets to do everything he wants while my life slips away in a blur of housework and laundry. I angrily pull on my running leggings, slightly concerned about how tight they are, and before I go I remind my husband that I will be back at work soon and he'd better start to help out then or get a housekeeper. With that I stalk out the back door with my head in the air. Unfortunately, I catch my glasses in the door as I pull it after me and I have to return, tripping over a load of cats.

I hop in the car with the two dogs and head for the beach. The sky looks very dark and grey but it was like that yesterday and the rain held off. I went to the toilet this time before I left as I did not want a repeat  of yesterday's walk.  Yesterday, I had just locked the car and walked about ten steps when I had the sudden urge to pee. There were a few cars dotted here and there in the distance so I knew there were people walking on the beach. I walked further along the beach doing my pelvic floors and willing the urgency to pass but no such luck. Where I was on the beach was clear from any walkers but unfortunately some enthusiast was kite surfing back and over the bay in clear view of where I was. So I had no option but to go in search of a nice high rock. I spied a wide expanse of high, pointy cliff type rocks with a deep crevice in between. As I got closer, I realised the crevice was about 5 foot high. I gingerly climbed down to pee safe in the knowledge that the tide was well out. My two dogs looked at me with curiosty and within seconds I hauled myself up again, greatly relieved. As I power walked across the beach, I chided myself at how stupid I had been. If I had slipped and twisted my ankle or worse banged my head rendering me unconscious, I was not visible to any passersby and the tide would have come in and drowned me. I scared myself so much with my dark thoughts that I quickly turned around to go home to safety!

Anyway, I was flying along today walking out my bad mood, when suddenly the skies open and hailstones pelt down on my poor face. I grit my teeth and keep going. The rain continues relentlessly so after 1.5km I turn back. I squelch my way to the car and drive home.
As I enter the house, my husband greets me with 'Got a little wet did you?' . I tell him I don't mind the rain and give the old saying 'There is no such thing as bad weather just bad clothing'. Child#1 pipes up that Nana and my husband were laughing while I was gone because I got caught in the rain. Of course, I see red and ask my husband why my mother in law was even down...could he not manage the baby himself. I shout why couldn't he make a start on folding the clothes instead of laughing at me with his Mommy. My husband retaliates saying I'm just mad because I got wet. I go to get changed and I hear my husband tell Child#1 to tidy the kitchen and stop being such a trouble maker. I turn to ask my husband why he doesn't clean the kitchen and let Child#1 tidy the sitting room that he messed. My husbands reminds me that he is going and has 'things to do' and then to add insult to injury , tells me to move my sh*t off the counter and with that he has the audacity to throw my new Emily Norris planner to one side. I banish him from my kitchen and tell him in no uncertain terms that this is my domain...my kitchen/office.

After a cup of tea and a biscuit, I calm down and feel energised enough to tackle my pile of clothes in the dining room. I fold clothes all evening in between feeding the baby and the kids. I clean out the utility and light a nice smelly yankee candle. By the time my husband returns, the place is tidy, the clothes are folded and dinner is on. My husband meekly smiles around the kitchen door and because I need him to carry all my baskets of clothes to the different bedrooms, I smile back. Relieved, he happily goes about his duties while I burn my fingers peeling boiled potatoes...the bane of my life.

I put the baby to bed and put away all our clothes. I paint my daughter's nails and try clip Child#4's nails but chase him off to scrub his nails with the nail brush when the nail clippers nearly broke on the dirt underneath his fingernails. Child#1 and 3 bite their nails unfortunately and Child#3 clips his own nails. I read the two younger kids a story and then tell them to go to bed. I do my 7 minutes exercise with Lucy twice, nearly doing the splits when my foot lands on the exercise mat and slips, then I run downstairs to put on yet another wash and evict my husband from Child#4's bed. Child#4 likes to have my husband lie there until he falls asleep. The trouble is my husband puts himself to sleep first.

I get ready for bed and remind Child#1 to have his shower. I don't want a repeat of last night when he nearly smothered us all with the smell of Linx. I plan to write this blog entry and then write a few chapters of my 'novel'. I got the urge to write again yesterday so after a hiatus of two years, I went in search of my memory stick and started typing away as inspiration flowed.

I have to go to physio tomorrow and I plan to leave the baby with my mother in law for the first time. I usually take him with me but he is getting more alert now and demanding and does not let me work with the physio. Last time, a student physio had to carry him around while I had therapy on my wrists! I have an early start so I will sign off here!
Good night!

Turning over a new leaf

I wake up this morning at 5am to feed the little guzzler. He decides it's play time and keeps laughing and playing until about 6 30am in between bouts of spitting up all over me, down the nape of my neck and in my hair. As a result, both my husband and I sleep in. I continue to hide under the duvet unwilling to face the morning while my husband roars at Child#1 to get up or he'll miss the bus. Child#1 indeeds misses the bus so my husband has to drop him to school while his coworker again awaits  his return outside. I run around in my nightgown, avoiding the windows in case the coworker sees me and get the other children up. I then run back upstairs to have a shower to get all the milky vomit out of my hair. I quickly throw on my fitness gear and soon I am ready to do the school run.

 I watched Operation Transformation Wednesday night so my weight loss goals have been renewed. I even downloaded the OT app. I am slightly concerned about the amount of food allowed but I console myself that I should be allowed extra as I am breastfeeding. My sister has purchased the bridesmaid dresses and as they are on the small side, I need to get my ass in gear and shift the last few pounds (ok 2 stone). According to the app, my portions are way too large.

Anyway, I drop the children to school and I am back home again in record time. Unlike yesterday...after my husband so kindly dropped Child#1 to school in my car, I had to turn around and go straight out again with his cross training gear that he had forgotten.
I rushed home to the baby and then had to return out to town again for my smear test despite my Mother in Law advising that I cancel it because they are horrible and that she never bothered with them. I try to explain the importance of regular cervical screening but she is of a different generation and thinks all those things are unmentionable. After my test, I argue with my mother in law to give me the baby so I can return him to his car seat. She wants to keep him on her knee in the passenger seat because he is 'happy there' and can 'see out'. We finally make it home and I see the man has arrived to fix the heat. He looks relieved to see me as the three dog mill around him, Lucky snapping his ankles and Holly sliming his fancy clothes.
I feed the baby and have lunch and then it is time to race off again to do the school run and music lessons. Child#4 and 5 get off at my Mom's and I continue on with Child#2 and 3 who declare they  are starving on route. I stop quickly to buy them some food and water in Lidl and then speed out to the Music Lessons. I decide to walk with the baby for the hour rather than sleep on the Music Teacher's couch. I manage 28 minutes and return to the warmth and cosiness of her sitting room pretending it is too cold out for the baby.
I arrive home and make two dinners to keep everyone happy. I walk in to the sitting room and I can't believe my eyes when I see the mess. I lose my temper with my husband and the older children for not picking up after themselves and for seeing me as a slave. I find it hard enough to cook, clean and do laundry and try to exercise and shop and mind the kids. I do not know how I will manage when I have to work full time as well. The days fly by and I feel I cannot get around to everything. So to see my husband and the older boys lounging on the couches with cushions, throws and Frube wrappers strewn around the floor and empty plates and dirty socks...I lose any bit of sanity I had.
I retire to my bedroom to put the baby to bed. I read about the horrific car accident on the M50 and so lie awake most of the night imagining terrifying scenarios and vowing never to drive on the M50 again.
Anyway, I digress.. back to today. Today was quite a productive day. After finishing the school run, I was happy to return home with no appointments or commitments to honour. I feed the baby and put on a load of laundry. I ignore the growing pile of clothes to be folded in the dining room. I know if I start into it now, I will not get my workout done. I put on two eggs to boil and while they are cooking, I turn on Lucy's 7 minute challenge and do 3 sets! Delighted with myself for completing 21 minutes, I go on to do 60 bridges and 10 clams.
I decide to design checklists for each time I exercise rather than fold the clothes and before I know it my mother in law has appeared again for me to take her for pension.
I wait outside the little post office/shop while my mother in law goes in to gossip and collect her pension. She arrives back out in tears saying the post office has been closed down. I feel sorry for her as tears roll down her cheeks as she asks what the old people are to do now. She really enjoyed going to collect her pension each Friday and chatting to her friends. It really is a shame that the government has closed down so many village post offices thus isolating the elderly further.

I check on my mom before collecting the kids from school. Her car went into the drain this morning because two pheasants jumped suddenly out of the bushes and put her off the road. She is a bit shaken but otherwise ok thank God. However, both mom and I nearly blow a fuse (well me, not Mom) as we spend at least five minutes chasing my sister's dog around the house with slices of ham trying to trick her into coming close enough to grab her collar. She has a new hobby of chasing cars. My mother in law declares that teachers should not have dogs and that my sister's dog is a rotten, bold dog. Once the dog is safely contained, I leave and I am just in time to pick up the kids from school. We go home to enjoy my freshly home made soup. The kids leave the majority of soup in the bowl and just dip their bread in it. I don't know why I bother. I go for a long walk on the beach to clear my head. I have been headachy for a few days now as the sugar leaves my system.

Child#1 calls me to go collect him in town. I rush out to get him and find him hanging around the play ground with his cool friends. I hurry him in to the car and speed home to make dinner. My husband promises that he will be home in time to do the rugby training. I feed the kids and I am looking forward to my own fresh fish dinner and honey roasted parsnips when I realise there is no sign of my husband. I finally get through to him on the phone and he says he has lost track of time. Well I lost my sh*t and roared a few choice words down the phone. I try to ring my mother in law to mind the kids but she is not answering. So I bundle the baby into the car and warn Child#2 to watch the other three while I drop Child#1 to rugby. Luckily, my husband meets me half way and takes Child#1 and I return home again to a dried out dinner. I notice the children have not finished their meals. When I ask why, Child#4 and 5 tell me that Child#2 told them to stop eating it in case they choked and he wanted to watch television not sit in the kitchen watching them eat! I give out to Child#2 and I tidy up after dinner. I bang pots and pans as I fume. The dinner is ruined because of my husband's lateness and the childen didn't even eat their dinners so it was all a waste of time! I try Lucy's 4 minute Arm Toning workout while I watch Coronation Street. It hurt like hell but I keep going as I imagine my lovely toned arms as I glide down the aisle in my bridesmaid dress.

Once my husband returns home from rugby, I take the baby and go upstairs to write. I have a splitting headache and I have to repeatedly banish Child#2 from my room. He is demanding I go over to his Nannie's to put WD40 on is bike chain before his sleepover with his friend tomorrow.
Tomorrow, I have to go to a rugby match and bring Child#3 and 5 to the Sweet Shop for their reward for two weeks of stickers for going to bed without trouble. I am already dreading Child#4's reaction to not getting sweets. He certainly won't be getting a reward for lowing like a cow every night.
My husband is working tomorrow so I will have to freeze on the pitch for ages.
I better go and get some rest to try get rid of this headache. 
Goodnight!